In the beginning, it's always great! You're in love and on top of the world. You get married and/or move in together. You spend all your time together and there's not one thing you would change about your partner. Life is good. But life carriers on: you have to work, maybe you have children together, buy a house. Things change. 
You settled in. You expect it. Life can't be all roses and lollipops. You understand that. But this is different. It's not the monotony your friends complain about. It's total chaos. It may have been a slow gradual descent or a quick fall but somehow your life has done a 360. You try to understand what went wrong. You try really hard to turn things back around, but nothing works. What can you do to improve things? What should you do? Should you stay or should you go?
I get contacted almost daily by partners who are involved in relationships with someone who has a mental disorder. I hear and feel their pain. It's hard. It's very hard, even in ideal situations where there is a diagnosis, acceptance and a treatment plan. But what if you're the only one working towards stability and improving your relationship? Does that make you codependent?
First of all, I am not a licensed professional and neither are you. Though the internet is a great tool and may give you a starting point, do not diagnose. Go see a professional. Only they can substantiate or eliminate a medical condition. If it is a mental disorder, know that it takes a team of doctors to create a specialized treatment plan for each individual and it gets adjusted...frequently.
If your partner either refuses to seek help or does not accept their diagnosis, expect nothing to change, no matter how hard YOU work on it. You can try to not create stress, tip toe on eggshells, do everything to try to not aggravate your partner. It probably works. But not for long. Soon it will be back the way it was. You get less sleep, you don't eat right, you can't concentrate at work, you become very unhealthy and unhappy. You cry all the time, lose your own self-esteem and may be depressed. The love you pour into your partner is never returned.
If this sounds like you, you may be codependent. I advise you to go get help for yourself. See a therapist and let them help you. Together you can sort thru your feelings and emotions, understand underlying patterns, decide what you want your future to realistically look like, with or without your partner, and implement a plan to achieve that goal.
Just like your partner should take responsibility for their own actions, so must you. If you don't like where you are and who you are with, it's up to you to seek out help and take the steps to regain your own healthy, stable life.
Next blog I will discuss situations specific to bipolar partners.
Sent from my iPad
You settled in. You expect it. Life can't be all roses and lollipops. You understand that. But this is different. It's not the monotony your friends complain about. It's total chaos. It may have been a slow gradual descent or a quick fall but somehow your life has done a 360. You try to understand what went wrong. You try really hard to turn things back around, but nothing works. What can you do to improve things? What should you do? Should you stay or should you go?I get contacted almost daily by partners who are involved in relationships with someone who has a mental disorder. I hear and feel their pain. It's hard. It's very hard, even in ideal situations where there is a diagnosis, acceptance and a treatment plan. But what if you're the only one working towards stability and improving your relationship? Does that make you codependent?
First of all, I am not a licensed professional and neither are you. Though the internet is a great tool and may give you a starting point, do not diagnose. Go see a professional. Only they can substantiate or eliminate a medical condition. If it is a mental disorder, know that it takes a team of doctors to create a specialized treatment plan for each individual and it gets adjusted...frequently.
If your partner either refuses to seek help or does not accept their diagnosis, expect nothing to change, no matter how hard YOU work on it. You can try to not create stress, tip toe on eggshells, do everything to try to not aggravate your partner. It probably works. But not for long. Soon it will be back the way it was. You get less sleep, you don't eat right, you can't concentrate at work, you become very unhealthy and unhappy. You cry all the time, lose your own self-esteem and may be depressed. The love you pour into your partner is never returned.
If this sounds like you, you may be codependent. I advise you to go get help for yourself. See a therapist and let them help you. Together you can sort thru your feelings and emotions, understand underlying patterns, decide what you want your future to realistically look like, with or without your partner, and implement a plan to achieve that goal.
Just like your partner should take responsibility for their own actions, so must you. If you don't like where you are and who you are with, it's up to you to seek out help and take the steps to regain your own healthy, stable life.
Next blog I will discuss situations specific to bipolar partners.
Sent from my iPad
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